PASSION FOR GLORY.

What Am I Put On Earth For?

2010-09-26T04:49:00.002-02:00

Who am I?
I am ordinary, just like any girl you would see on the streets. I am nothing special, just ordinary, plain girl. I have been through a lot.. Fought through a lot of obstacles to be where I am.. today. Life hasn't been easy since it started in sec 4. I was in the worse class, people never thought I would make it, I was notorious, but I changed, but people's perspection would never change unless you prove it. I don't come from a rich family, my family is not perfect, in fact, we're struggling to make ends meet. Nevertheless, I made it to sec 5. To take my O's. I have been struggling ever since then. You want to know my result slips? I have always failed these subjects - Art, Maths, Sci.. The only subjs I would pass is English, Combine humanities &Mt. What good use can they be? I need maths, I need art to be in poly, and I need a cut off point of 10. Since Singaporeans are so unrealistic to make childhood phychology 10 points. The last time I passed maths was secondary 2. A2? That was the highest, and I'm proud of it. I am realistic. I'm aiming for at least 18. I don't ask for much. There's no courses I want to get into now. I'll get my results slip and I'll see what I can do about it. Honestly, I seriously think I'll end up in ITE anyway. My maths results are depressing. What is wrong with me? I don't know. I've been trying, who says I haven't? I don't have to explain do I? As long as I know I did it. I am far from perfect.
This guy said I was ignorant, it has been etched in my mind ever since then..
I must be right you know? I cannot be wrong. I must win, I cannot lose. That's ego I guess, but I try very hard to hide it away from people. I'm not good at anything if you want to know. I used to play badminton but that didn't bring me very far.. I played volleyball in my secondary school years, for my past 5 years, I've been a failure. Though I rec'd medals.. but I don't feel anything for them. Except for one. That is this year's medal. We fought for it, I fought for it, sweat, tears.. pain. I did. And I got it, but still. I wasn't reconigized. They were called for u19, but I wasn't. I guess I felt like a fool. The worse thing? They got champs. Well this shows that everyone, everything is better off without me. I am worthless, priceless, and well. definitely useless.
I am at loss you know? Somebody just said I couldn't take people's opinion..
Yes, I can't. I have my own flaws too you see. Why don't you put yourself into my shoes and try living as me for a day? I fight so many different and difficult decisions and emotions every single day. I don't share my problems with anyone else. I keep them to myself. I am so tired, I'm only 17. Why does the world has got to be so harsh to me? Been through so many set backs, but I'm still... weak. Weaker than ever. I'm always wrong, always.. I've always been giving in.. always. I'm so tired of being me. Just take me away already. I'm tired of almost everything people put me through. The ones that I thought wouldn't turn their backs on me, actually did.
I am only human too you know? I don't think too highly of myself, I never did. I have always been humble. I don't have what it takes to think highly of myself. Why are you so harsh? Why are you not treating me right? I rmb you saying "I'll try not to hurt you as much so that you wouldn't numb yourself and then eventually I'll lose you".
Remember? Those were the good days, good days. Now they are over.
"But baby I'm tired, I'm tired of the fight
I'm tired of the lonely days and the dark endless nights
It's taken some time, 'cause I didn't know
If I could ever let you go
You helped me figure it out
I'm better off alone" - Katherine mcphee "better off alone"
I don't know what to do right now. I'm numb, seriously hurt by all the things you have said. Your words, they cut like a knife. Maybe E's right. "both of you are not meant for each other, you should leave and find someone better".

Do you feel my pain now? Can anyone hear my cries? I'm starving to be safe. Starving.
I don't know what's over. You, me.. Or this relationship.
Thank you for taking time to read this. Xoxo.

2010-09-26T00:34:00.001-02:00

Nothing is eternal, even the sun will one day disappear. Remember this simple truth whenever you are suffering, - that the suffering too shall pass, - and it will become easier to bear.

God wants me to know.

2010-09-12T01:21:00.001-02:00

Abandoned, neglected, alone. Seriously this is how I feel now. Sucks so bad.

2010-09-11T13:28:00.001-02:00

Emotional break down srsly. I just wish you'll be nicer, a little bit more kind, caring towards me.
:'( you don't even know.

2010-08-29T08:47:00.002-02:00

What are friends for? Betraying? Neh, you got it all wrong.
Have you seen yourself talking? Really.
You say you didn't, but honestly, ask yourself. Did you? Well your conscience is probably guilty now eh?
You did it, and you know it.
You're not innocent. You never were for fuck sake.

2010-08-22T14:26:00.000-02:00

i'm not worth it

Broken.

2010-08-20T00:17:00.002-02:00

What's wrong what's wrong now? Too many too many problems, don't know where she belongs.
She wants to go home but nobody's home, that's where she lies, broken inside. No place to go, to dry her eyes.

All we have is really, really gone now. Now I draw a clear line between you &me. This way I stay motivated. No, please don't shower your care &concern for me, neither do I need your sympathy. I am better off alone. Don't worry, I won't even bother asking you any questions that I don't know.
Everyday is a battle, battle with myself of course, now I just have to start.. I will. Prove you WRONG.

The sky is my limit.

2010-08-19T11:35:00.002-02:00

Today I learned : I can trust no one.
Today I conclude : I will only give the best of me to 'O' lvls and not let anybody bring me down. I have been here, so far, only to prove that I can make it through this.
I am not gonna give up when it's tough, I'm gonna fight for this. I ain't gonna fail, I'm gonna give my very best. I won't live in regret. I will prove to people that I can do this, this is something easy, I'm gonna overcome this. I'll pick myself up when I fall, I don't need help. I can do this. I can.
The sky is my limit.

2010-08-19T10:31:00.002-02:00

I am beyond repair. I can't believe the only person I wanted, need to confide in most failed me.
It's over, totally over.
Really over.
I ain't gonna sit back and give u chance to criticize me. Gonna show you what I am made of.
I want time alone.

2010-08-08T14:49:00.002-02:00

Gave my all, said sorry, tried my best. but... nevermind.
"I should have had more patience with you?"
well thank you. You showed me how patient you actually are.

2010-08-04T13:02:00.000-02:00

3 more days to 6 months. i love you.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2010-08-03T12:42:00.000-02:00

Baby, your understanding and patience means the world to me. I love you Khairudy Izwan. You know I will always do. Thanks for sending me home despite being tired. I love you. It's these little things that make me fall in love with u again :) 4 days to 6 months :) i syg you!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Absolute love.

2010-08-01T13:19:00.000-02:00

No doubts, we fight. We might be at each other's throat sometimes but you cannot doubt our love for each other. No, this is not a fighting arena. I only post when we quarrel, that's why people might think we're fighting alot. Truth is, we don't, and Rudy treats me well :) he doesn't flare up at me often and he's very giving.
No, I don't need anybody to judge my relationship. We make mistakes and we learn from each other. 6 more days to 6 months. How time flies, right? I love you alot syg. I don't wanna leave you. Rly love you a lot baby. ^^ I know I said this alot of times before, but I promise you I won't leave you, not eventhe hardest days to come by. I'll stick with you through the darkest storms so we'll see the rainbow and the end :) I'll put a smile on your darkest days so you'll feel life is worth living for. I love you, I won't leave. I promise. Xoxo. You are my only one.

Battlefield

2010-08-01T13:12:00.000-02:00

No, this is not a battle field, or fighting arena.
We love that's why we quarrel. Pls dont get it wrong. He treats me well, really well &it seems like we're always quarrelling is cuz I post on bad days only. :)
I love yu Khairudy Izwan. 6 days to 6 months. How time flies.. Thank you for being so patient and nice towards me. I love you syg. I always have &always will. Xoxo.

2010-07-28T11:33:00.000-02:00

Gave up being nice

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2010-07-27T13:07:00.000-02:00

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2010-07-27T12:02:00.003-02:00

You tell me what's the point ok? What's the point of me telling you that I'm on PMS mode, then asking you to give me attention, all you say is YES, but stop. Cogitate about it, have you? Then tell me, what's the point of telling me you'll fetch me everyday.. Its no point. Its not what I want. All I want for you is to stay and fight for what you said, to prove what you actually mean what you say. You say all of these just to please me. Sorry, don't want, don't need that. I'm alone on my own tonight. When I'm at my lowest, deepest, sickest. Where are you? Where have you been? Nowhere near me..
Goodnight and goodbye to you.

2010-07-27T11:48:00.001-02:00

I'll never be good enough. You can walk away all you want to.. I won't hold you back. I'm too weak to.

2010-07-27T08:09:00.001-02:00

Tears welled up in my eyes, all I want for you to ask is.. "are you okay?" Simple enough. That would enlighten my day, show extra concern, all I want you is to care. That is all.. all I ever ask for.
:'(

2010-07-23T09:10:00.001-02:00

i'm leaving, but i'll be back.

2010-07-23T08:17:00.002-02:00

I don't want to fucking know anything you try to explain, I don't even want to care, because I have been chasing after you. Have been, always been, even at the start. You may have waited for me, but I. I cancelled my plans just for you. Yeah, I really wish I have the courage to say "I don't wanna care anymore" I'm so fucking tired of pleasing you. I've always been saying "no, not angry, nevermind, nevermind". Right. What a fucking liar. I am a fucking liar. So fucking good at lying just to make everything work.
I don't wanna speak. I just want to be left alone. I don't wanna know anymore.

2010-07-15T10:15:00.000-02:00

All I fucking wanted was you to be okay.

Broken trust and broken hearts.

2010-07-13T06:50:00.003-02:00

Here's to the broken hopes &shattered dreams.
Here's to the days I sat by my bed and cried my hearts out. Here's to the we thought we loved each other. Here's to the I thought you love me days. Here's to the days we fought hard for each other. I know how much you did for me and I respect that. I know how much you were true. I fought my hardest to not say"fuck you".
Well but you said this. "Having multiple ex boyfriends prove how bad you handle relationships.
Then tell me, what have I been holding on for? Tell me, have I wasted my 5 months on you?
Well, I loved you like crazy, I did everything I could. Thanks for letting me know the cruel truth.
You know what? All we had, is gone now.

5th

2010-07-07T13:17:00.001-02:00

Happy 5th, I love you Khairudy Izwan :)
Thanks for sticking with me through thick &thin. 5 months till infinity &beyond.

2010-07-06T12:45:00.001-02:00

Life cannot get anymore peaceful than this.

2010-06-23T15:59:00.002-02:00

2010-06-13T03:23:00.000-02:00

I don't deserve all the humiliation I suffered do I?

2010-06-08T11:22:00.001-02:00

I miss you, Khairudy Izwan!

2010-06-05T06:10:00.000-02:00

Do meet Rudy, Rudy Benzema! Hahaha, I love you syg =)
Please don't go Vietnam to find other girls. I'll be here waiting for you! =)
xoxoo

2010-06-02T06:36:00.000-02:00

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Fuck it all.

2010-06-01T12:19:00.002-02:00

I am fucking tired. So fucking tired. I am sick, so fucking sick that I have to wake up to face all these shit every single day. I'm sick of pursuing perfection almost every single day. I swear I didn't ask for this shit. I DIDN'T.

MYE.

2010-05-05T12:43:00.002-02:00

We've been through so much shit since day 1. You know I will never give up fighting for this love.

2010-04-25T11:07:00.003-02:00

No one, no one can get in the way of what I feel for you.
Nobody handles me at me my worst better than Khairudy. It's true. We've been through more than you can ever, ever think of. It has been hell of a week, but.. We've been through almost everything. I love you Khairudy. I love you. =)

2010-04-24T06:05:00.000-02:00

2010-04-20T10:53:00.000-02:00

I feel like crap, right now I just wanna run. Away from all these troubles. It's tiring you know?

2010-04-15T11:39:00.001-02:00

it's my fucking fault again.
another sleepless, another.. teary night.
just when i thought it was gonna get better.

2010-04-14T11:01:00.001-02:00

today I had enough.

We'll be a dream

2010-04-14T07:00:00.002-02:00

I'm sick of... people telling me that "you'll be okay, you'll be fine, I'll be there for you."
They are just.. plain fucking lies. Nobody would ever be there for you anyway, you only got yourself and nobody else BUT JUST YOUR FUCKING PATHETIC SELF. Please stop lying already. I would give any fucking thing just to be there for you. I would be there even if it means in the middle of the night.
I just needed you during the noon and have you even tried? Maybe I'm just not worth being there for. Sorry I'm a loser I need people to be there for me and I thought you would be. I am wrong. So wrong then..
I hate it when I can relate to people so well, I give them advices I can't even give myself. The world shuts me out anyway.
Note to self : Don't expect too much if you don't wanna end up in disappointment.

Gravity

2010-03-29T12:24:00.002-02:00

Stand up for what you think is fucking right.
Cuz I fucking do. Look, you people don't judge just by looking. Maybe you should take a walk in our shoes before you comment. You know nuts about us. Seriously you don't even know shit about what we've been through. Ah, is it wrong for a boyfriend wanting to spend time with the girlfriend?
No? Okay so shut the fuck up and keep the comments to yourself. Thanks. You think you can handle this relationship better then us? Prove it sucker.
He does is wayyyy better.

2010-03-28T11:56:00.001-02:00

....
Back to hell tomorrow.
Anyway dude, it's okay if you don't like seeing us together.
You don't even know what we've been through to be together, you don't know a single shit about us.
What rights do you actually have to be annoyed, or pissed at us?
What the fuck did we do?

Life.

2010-03-25T12:24:00.003-02:00

Fucking annoying bestfriend, but I fucking love her!
I miss you girls =(
I miss the existence of each and every single one of you :(
BGIRLS2010. <3 onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_GxDlCjDmQZQ/S6tyeQ9MRdI/AAAAAAAACIY/EluWXrnqX7g/s1600/25003_387930878928_741343928_3756883_5116803_n.jpg"> <3 onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_GxDlCjDmQZQ/S6tyeNNl7bI/AAAAAAAACIQ/M7zE5o3fm00/s1600/19.JPG"> Don't judge. He abuses me most of the time. :(

2010-03-21T14:56:00.001-02:00

Can't find anybody who pays more attention to me more then you do. I love you, Khairudy Izwan :)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Thank God I Found You.

2010-03-19T15:22:00.001-02:00

I appreciate the fact that you're always, constantly there for me.
Never asked me to shut up despite my whining and complaining.
You know how much you mean to me. :)

2010-03-17T14:33:00.005-02:00

I think you're the most amazing person on earth and I love you, Khairudy Izwan.
We're happy together, that's for sure.
I wanna grow old with you, lie awake next to you looking at the stars.
Plant a kiss on your forehead and tell you, "I'll love you, till the end of time"
"the special bond that we share, nothing else on this earth compares, it seems like the flowers continues to grow into something beautiful"
You complete me. Really, you do. You can make me smile even when I'm in my worst mood. Its only in your arms that I forget all my troubles & I have complete happiness. & you're the only one who can fill that gap in my heart, the space that has come to know you..that place that knows you're the only one for me, that gap that will accept no one but you.
Falling in love with you wasn't the plan but when you held me in your arms something told me this is where i need to be.
Do you realize what you are to me? what you're always going to be? you are the love of my life. Everyone else will always be SECOND best. there will never be another you.
You know that feeling you get when you're around someone? The one that makes you think you two are the only people on earth and everything just sort of falls into place? Yeah, that's what I feel when I'm with you.
XOXO!! :)

2010-03-16T12:58:00.002-02:00

I♥you, Khairudy Izwan =)
“Relationships are like algebra. It’s complicated, and sometimes the problems are hard. In the end you get through each problem and always find out that x and y belong together.”
Just like you &me, we're X & Y.

2010-03-16T01:42:00.001-02:00

1. Men who kiss their wives in the morning live five years longer than those who don’t.

2. People are more likely to tilt their heads to the right when kissing instead of the left (65 percent of people go to the right!)

3. When it comes to doing the deed early in the relationship, 78 percent of women would decline an intimate rendezvous if they had not shaved their legs or underarms.

4. Feminist women are more likely than other females to be in a romantic relationship.

5. Two-thirds of people report that they fall in love with someone they’ve known for some time vs. someone that they just met.

6. There’s a reason why office romances occur: The single biggest predictor of love is proximity.

7. Falling in love can induce a calming effect on the body and mind and raises levels of nerve growth factor for about a year, which helps to restore the nervous system and improves the lover’s memory.

8. Love can also exert the same stress on your body as deep fear. You see the same physiological responses — pupil dilation, sweaty palms, and increased heart rate.

9. Brain scans show that people who view photos of a beloved experience an activation of the caudate — the part of the brain involving cravings.

10. The women of the Tiwi tribe in the South Pacific are married at birth.

11. The “Love Detector” service from Korean cell phone operator KTF uses technology that is supposed to analyze voice patterns to see if a lover is speaking honestly and with affection. Users later receive an analysis of the conversation delivered through text message that breaks down the amount of affection, surprise, concentration and honesty of the other speaker.

12. Eleven percent of women have gone online and done research on a person they were dating or were about to meet, versus seven percent of men.

13. Couples’ personalities converge over time to make partners more and more similar.

14. The oldest known love song was written 4,000 years ago and comes from an area between the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers.

15. The tradition of the diamond engagement ring comes from Archduke Maximillian of Austria who, in the 15th century, gave a diamond ring to his fiancée, Mary of Burgundy.

16. Forty-three percent of women prefer their partners never sign “love” to a card unless they are ready for commitment.

17. People who are newly in love produce decreased levels of the hormone serotonin — as low as levels seen in people with obsessive-compulsive disorder. Perhaps that’s why it’s so easy to feel obsessed when you’re smitten.

18. Philadelphia International Airport finished as the No. 1 best airport for making a love connection, according to an online survey.

19. According to mathematical theory, we should date a dozen people before choosing a long-term partner; that provides the best chance that you’ll make a love match.

20. A man’s beard grows fastest when he anticipates sex.

21. Every Valentine’s Day, Verona, the Italian city where Shakespeare’s playRomeo and Juliet took place, receives around 1,000 letters addressed to Juliet.

22. When we get dumped, for a period of time we love the person who rejected us even more, says Dr. Helen Fisher of Rutgers University and author of Why We Love. The brain regions that lit up when we were in a happy union continue to be active.

23. Familiarity breeds comfort and closeness … and romance.

24. One in five long-term love relationships began with one or both partners being involved with others.

25. OK, this one may not surprise you, but we had to share it: Having a romantic relationship makes both genders happier. The stronger the commitment, the greater the happiness!

2010-03-09T10:40:00.000-02:00

The next round, I promise I won't let anyone down.
I promise nothing will go wrong anymore, I still strive even harder. Please just have faith in me for the very last time. I don't wanna give up and I am not going to.. Please..
Give me another try :(

2010-03-07T12:53:00.000-02:00

This sums up my Sunday.

Good fight

2010-03-02T12:34:00.001-02:00

Anything worth fighting, sure enough worth fighting for. Quitting is out of the question, when it gets tough we gotta fight somemore. Even if I wanna lose, I wanna say, " I lost, but I lost with pride, I lost not because we were lousy, we lost because the opponent was stronger, we lost not because we didn't fight hard enough. I would be able to say, we lost with pride, can you say the same too?

Replay

2010-02-28T10:48:00.003-02:00

As I bury my face in my hands, I felt completely helpless, tears streamed down my face like never before, everything I was going through was hard for me, especially this year. So tiring so tiring but this is only the start.
To be honest? I feel like I'm not good enough for you, I feel stupid like you're wayyyyy better. So much cleverer~
I must tell you, I am not intelligent, I don't have the looks either.
So I hope, whatever happens you will stick by me, I hope whatever happens.. You just won't leave cuz I'm not good enough.

2010-02-28T05:53:00.001-02:00

I think Febuary is passing by too s l o w l y.

2010-02-28T03:50:00.002-02:00

As we settled down in the wee hours of the morning. I could felt a tinge of happiness linger within me, it was real. I felt you close. It was real, it really was.
When you took out your phone and said "there, this is my girlfriend". I smiled. I asked you a whole lot of questions like.. Is she irritating? Noisy? Bitchy? and When I said loving...
You immediately said.. "very loving".
and then.. the night was perfect.
This are the little things that I appreciate.
These are the little things that make life great. You know?

Tiring

2010-02-25T01:45:00.003-02:00

You know what's fucking tiring? It's fucking tiring to hear people out yet nobody hears mine.
It's tiring to know that there is a long way ahead in front of you but still, you're not halfway there and you're feeling like a complete failure. It's tiring, tiring to be me. To have to juggle between so much things. I am only human too, you know? Sometimes I wish somebody would just hear me, listen to what I have to say. It's tiring to be me. Please don't shut me out? It's tiring.. So tiring yet nobody really knows. I chose this path and I wonder what I was even thinking. I knew it would be tough but I still chose this. Right now on this path, I feel like a complete failure. What do I exactly want in life? What? Just what do I really really want and need? It's only the start and I dread this so much. I expect so much from life, I gave my best, without regrets. But in the end, I end up failing, I tried so fucking hard. Is this what I am suppose to get in return? I take chances, I fall, I fail, I climb, I try again, I try so hard, I fail.
So tell me this, when will I ever be successful in life? You all don't know a shit about the life I'm leading. It's so fucking hard to deal with life.
Honestly, if I was brave enough to.. I would just, give up life and go commit suicide or something. I feel so left out, so shut out, so stupid and dumb.
No, please don't say anything. Please just let me pour out my feelings.
Please don't say anything like "you'll be fine soon", Don't say anything like "cheer up".
Don't say anything like "I'll be there for you" No, just don't. Because I only have me and only me to make it through this pain. I take chances, I give my best. But this is what life gives me back in return. Do I deserve this shit life puts me through?
Give me a break.

2010-02-24T08:35:00.001-02:00

I know my efforts are appreciated, it feels good to be praised.
Oh well.

:)

2010-02-21T13:55:00.001-02:00

You never fail to make me smile with all your antics up your sleeve. You always always caught me off guard with whatever you do.. You're always full of suprises to make me smile. I wanna spend time sitting down next to you in the wee hours. You rly dk how much you make me happy. Gotta thank god for letting me meet someone like you who will lead me back on track whenever I am lost. I love you. KR7. ;) good night!

Effort

2010-02-20T16:11:00.002-02:00

At least you make the effort to. At least you tried and it's really good enough for me.
Thank you for all you've done. I appreciate every single little thing you do.
Even the simplest thing means a lot to me, I hope you know. :) We started out really really badly, soon enough we could see we're meant to be. I love how comfortable we can be when we're around us.. I love being around you.. =)
I love you.
:)

2010-02-19T12:59:00.001-02:00

O'S HAS GOT TO BE THE WORST SERIAL KILLER EVAR. Fuck!
NEED TO BREATHE LIKE HELLO?

L O V E

2010-02-18T11:18:00.004-02:00

You're my definition of HAPPINESS.
My definition of almost everything. I like those impromptu cheesy stuffs from you.
I love you so much. So freaking much. You know? I'm afraid one day we quarrel and then you'll leave, then I'll probably be left with nothing. Whenever you're not there I feel so empty, so incomplete. This is love. Mmmm, I want to spend time with you, just you &me. I wanna lie next to you, whisper in your ears, K, I LOVE YOU, so damn much.
One look is all it takes to make me fall in love with you, all over again.
Are you feeling it?
Anywhere with you is fine. Nothing else matters when I'm with you. :)

2010-02-17T10:09:00.000-02:00

FUCK YOU! In a good way :)
You know I know. HAHAHA.
You make me fall in love with you, all over again. Every single day.

Grateful

2010-02-16T14:48:00.000-02:00

For the past few days you made me eager to wake up, to check my phone constantly, you made me feel like there is no distance between us, you made me feel like being apart is okay, you made me feel like a princess, you made me like.. I am safe, nobody can hurt me. Your honeyed words made me smile from ear to ear, you constantly reminded me that you love me, you made me feel good about myself, those late night webcam talks, laughing at just for laughs. Snapping each others photo while on webcam using iPhone.. You made sure I reach home safely, you never made me sad, you make me feel like heaven. I love you, you are perfectly fine the way you are and I miss you already. Good night.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2010-02-16T09:43:00.001-02:00

I don't blog about CNY because happiness is short lived.
Now, why the fuck does school have to start on a Wednesday? I'm finding all the possible ways to skip school. Fuck I dread art.
Hey, even the best falls down sometimes.
Now I've only got K to keep me from falling apart. I feel so stress.

assurance

2010-02-12T15:28:00.002-02:00

You are my heaven on earth..
I love the feeling of being around you, it makes me feel, safe, secure and like nothing can ever hurt me.

2010-02-11T10:46:00.002-02:00

Please don't shut me out anymore.
BELIEVE.
I feel so.. distant.
I feel so..
I wish you will wrap your arms around me and tell me everything is okay.
I shouldn't be feeling like this.

Fight for love

2010-02-10T12:22:00.001-02:00

Maybe I'm just another priceless piece of art.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Stfu.

2010-02-10T02:08:00.001-02:00

Shut the fuck up cuz you know nothing about me. Don't fucking judge me just by your test. I will prove you fucking wrong w my o lvl slips.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2010-02-09T12:53:00.000-02:00

Who are you kidding? You smile makes me melt.
Damn. You sweep me off my feet.

2010-02-08T12:49:00.001-02:00

I want to share my happiness with the world but I can't.
Sometimes, you forgive people just because you want them back in your life.
I'm glad you gave this a second try.
I'm yours~

2010-02-08T11:12:00.002-02:00

Sorry for abusing you, YOU HAVE TO KNOW I LOVE YOU NONETHELESS!! HAHAHAHA.
Love you security guard! (L)
7thhhhhhhh

7th(L)

2010-02-07T11:38:00.000-02:00

You make me feel all better all over again.
ILY.

2010-02-07T06:41:00.003-02:00

For you :

A guy whom truly loves would not leave you in the lurch to face your fears yourself.
He wouldn't make you shed a tear and just leave you like that. I hope you know that there are many other fishes in the sea, don't keep chasing the one that swam away. He is not worth your tears nor love. There is still a long way ahead of you dong. He is not the only guy alive. Even if he is, he made you so miserable. Why? Why would you still want to stick to him?
Give it up honey. You deserve better. You deserve so much better. I love you, if he doesn't want you, I do. You still have friends. Chin up dear, you deserve so much better with such sweet personality.
I love you and I hope you know that. Please don't take your own life for someone who isn't worth it.
I love you and I hope you will soon see that there are better opportunities in life.
I'll be there for you.

THUMPING

2010-02-07T04:22:00.000-02:00

MOOD CHANGE 360. FUCKING ELATED NOW.
I am more then happy.
I AM BACK!!!

Numb

2010-02-07T04:15:00.001-02:00

I wish we had another try at this.
My mind is filled of you the whole day. I can't even force myself to smile..
K. :(

Shattered.

2010-02-07T00:33:00.001-02:00

You took my emotion and scattered them all over the ground. Oh how it hurts. What i wanted to do all along is just to love you. Why do you do this to me? I love you so much.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Why do you do this to me?

2010-02-06T15:02:00.001-02:00

I feel so.. attached to you and at this point of time you had to go.
Did u have to?

I was blinded.

2010-02-06T07:51:00.001-02:00

Enough okay? I had enough. Really. I will be better soon. You don't know how much you're killing me within. Love is blind they say. Once, twice. How many times more? I hate myself. Honestly I do. So why do you do this to me? I deserve this kind of treatment? Do I? It's okay if u think I do. I'm sick and tired of being sick n tired. It's enough for now. Let me heal. It hurts so much I feel like I can't breathe. Why do I put myself through this? It's because I loved you, I thought we would be. But I was wrong. I will go. Don't worry. My concience is clear. It's enough for now. It hurts so bad.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

_l_

2010-02-06T06:26:00.003-02:00

Geminis will always be geminis.

Tolerance

2010-02-04T09:46:00.001-02:00

I wouldn't blame you if you throw your temper on me. I dont mind &I truly understand. I just hope you won't go away.. I just want you to stay..

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Senile, similes, GEMINI(S) :)

2010-02-03T11:31:00.003-02:00

Even if you're deaf, I'll still love you! (L).
Thanks so much for teaching me maths today. You're not boring. Don't worry.
I understand so much better already.
Promises are not meant to be broken, RMB!!! :)
I love you~~
&to Siwei&Ernie. You both made me feel so loved~ So touched.
THANK YOU BOTH FOR BUYING FOOD FOR ME! Love you both~~~ <3
I am so lucky to be surrounded with people who loves me.
:)



2010-02-02T13:38:00.001-02:00

I may not be perfect but you love me unconditionally without complains. You tried your best to be there for me even when I was at my lowest. You never left me aside, you never made me feel inferior.. All you did was, loving me whole heartedly with your heart, without grudges, with all the love you have. You never complained I was too pampered, u hear me out when I needed you to.
You cheer me up when I felt like a total failure. You never once left me in the lurch to face my fears myself. You were there to support me, shower me with your love &concern. I am so glad I made it here, so glad i met you. I just want to say, i love you, k.
hearts. :)
Love, me.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2010-02-02T12:14:00.001-02:00

You belong up there. While I belong at stupid fucks.
It's okay. Cuz I know you love me :D

(L)

2010-02-02T11:32:00.000-02:00

I feel like a complete failure. But you stood by me no matter what happened.
Thanks. I love you. (L)

2010-02-01T09:51:00.001-02:00

I know I meant something to you.
I know I do. I need your strength to help me carry on. I'm so tired. I've totally shut off already man. I love you means a whole lot to me.
I hope you know. K.

So deep.

2010-02-01T07:47:00.003-02:00

Falling so deep, even deeper den I expected.
You make me smile from ear to ear. My life ahead is gonna be tough.
I feel like I can't take it anymore. I want to break down and cry. It's only Monday :'(

Lovehate

2010-01-31T13:50:00.001-02:00

Misery.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2010-01-31T12:56:00.002-02:00

Ss killed me!
DAMN!
I took like 3 fucking hours to highlight and to write down notes.
Cb! Fuck you la Saddam Hussein!

Hurt

2010-01-31T08:47:00.002-02:00

Being hurt is inevitable. I am afraid of you leaving, you know? You don't.

I will.

2010-01-31T03:11:00.003-02:00

I will make it through this year even if it kills me.
"I could lie awake just o hear you breathing."
I finally understood this, "everything gets worse before it gets better"
Last Saturday you almost killed me with your words.
This Saturday, you made me smile like you never before.

Can die.

2010-01-30T12:49:00.002-02:00

Monday competition. Tuesday training, Wednesday rest, Thursday competition, Friday competition, Saturday training.
YOU TELL ME HOW TO SURVIVE NEXT WEEK? I wish next week will never come.
Or.. Faster come faster go.
PLEASE LA. GIVE ME A BREAK ALREADY.
='(
My back hurts like mad =(.
Need to survive!

Yawnz

2010-01-29T22:22:00.000-02:00

I just want you close, you make me smile.. &i cannot get you off my mind.. For your love I would do anything, bcuz to me. You are my everything.. :) all we gotta have is just.. "trust, faith &love". :) you made my day..

2010-01-29T12:54:00.000-02:00

"the thought of you waking up another day to do all those things and see you smile "
I miss you already.
You heal my heartache, you fixed them back. You make me fall, so deep.

What you've got is hard to find.

2010-01-29T11:54:00.002-02:00

I wish you don't have to go~~ I miss you I miss you. Will see you next month then!
(L)

Fk tiz shit

2010-01-28T11:00:00.003-02:00

Why do boys have EGO problems? Just get over it already really. If you want something, say it. If you really like her, tell her. She won't fucking wait forever~ DAMN IT

2010-01-27T07:42:00.000-02:00

YOU MIGHT AS WELL NOT GIVE BIRTH TO ME?
GIVE BIRTH TO HIM ENOUGH ALREADY WHAT.
YOU'RE ALWAYS ALWAYS ON HIS FUCKING SIDE.
I'm sick of this already.

Mad tired

2010-01-27T07:13:00.002-02:00

I'm lacking energy.
I'm dying from the hectic week. Another two days another two days to go to the weekend! I feel you close to me.. I just want to hold you close.

Shining

2010-01-26T12:40:00.001-02:00

:) thanks. You're making me feel better day by day... I think I've recovered so much from the heartache u caused. I'm beautiful. I know I am. :) thanks, rly helps alot w my self confidence.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

the sun is shining like never before.

2010-01-26T11:45:00.000-02:00

You said "you're beautiful".
You said things that I never knew that would give me confidence.
Nobody really said that to me.
Thank you so much.
&that? Is the reason why I love you.

2010-01-25T12:21:00.001-02:00

Why why why do you keeeeeep hurting me sooo muchhhhh?

Self inflicted

2010-01-24T12:30:00.000-02:00

The pain you put me through is too much to handle. I understand. I need to heal.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Speechless.

2010-01-24T10:12:00.002-02:00

You are my reason for breathing.. But.. nevermind.
I never knew how strong I was until strong was my only choice. What did I do to be hurt so bad? You may not be perfect but you make my heart skip a beat, every time we talk every time I see your smile every time I hear his voices; just everything about you drives me wild and that's all that matters to me. I've only learned accept you and then you're gone. What did I do wrong?
Why do I keep harping on the fact? I'm standing on a line between giving up &seeing how much more I can fucking take. Honestly I can just die of this pain you put me through, you inflicted on me. My heart can't take this blow. Now will you take me away to a better place? I really don't want to be here without you. I feel so.. broken.
This morning, I did not even want to wake up to face reality, I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake.
But when you were there for me. I kept wanting to be awake so I could feel you.
But now, it's the total opposite. There's only 1 thing I want to do now.
Wish for a better tomorrow.

Why?

2010-01-24T08:07:00.002-02:00

So tell me, why is it that the more the person hurts you the more you can't get over that particular person? You really don't know how much it hurts within.